Here is a list of tips for all of you clubbers, coming from an experienced club trotter (me). Follow these and I promise you that not only will your peers appreciate your presence more, but you may just have a much better time yourself. Feel free to add your own tips in the comments.
Don't be these guys
Keep in mind to not take these, or yourself, too seriously 
- Shower before going out. No one likes dancing next to Stinky!
- Dress for the part. Girls: are you working it or straight up working? The question needs to be asked.
- Don’t harass the doorman. Not everybody is somebody, and that’s okay. Unless you really are on the list, don’t insist you are; it slows down entry for everyone else.
- Quit name dropping. If you are told to wait in line, name dropping likely won’t get you through the door faster. It just doesn’t matter who you know.
- Leave your shit at the door. Clubs are a place to walk away from daily worries, not create new ones. If you can’t manage to bring you best attitude, don’t go out.
- Be aware of your surroundings. It’s normal to get excited in a club, especially when having a good time. Just remember that others are there for the same reason. Use the Force to remain aware of what is going on around you. If you accidentally bump, hit or walk into someone, acknowledge and apologize.
- Don’t shove. DO NOT SHOVE. Self fucking explanatory.
- Don’t make requests to the DJ. There are absolutely no circumstances in which it is okay to make a request to the DJ. Whatever the reason, it isn’t good enough. Let the DJ work! Chances are the room is already fired up by the time you think of asking for your favorite track anyway. If the music is so bad that you feel you need to do something, please refer to the next point.
- Be critical of what you are being served. Just because you are in the biggest club or have paid a hefty cover to get in doesn’t mean you won’t be served crap. As a paying patron, it is your responsibility to let the management know if you feel you aren’t getting your money’s worth. If you do that, it may be a good idea to have a suggestion to balance against your rant. They might not do anything about it, but staying silent also won’t do anything. >>> If you haven’t paid to get in however, the only statement you can make is get up and leave. Freeloaders don’t get to bitch.
- Dance, don’t just watch. This isn’t a rock show, don’t just stand there and watch the DJ while you fist pump. The club experience is supposed to be one where you lose yourself in the music. That, and the good times shared with friends, should be what gets your attention.
- Moderation. A lot of us like to get our drink (and maybe other things) on. Today isn’t the day we will be debating if that is okay or not. If you do decide to go there, do it moderately. Less is more.
- Know when it’s time to quit. There is power in knowing when to stop, I promise you. It will ensure you can manage a long, fruitful clubbing career without sketching out on your friends, who incidentally may not remain friends with you very long if you choose to not follow this particular tip.
Now go and enjoy yourself!
